And so the journey begins…

I met my husband, Steve, through a mutual friend and I knew in about two weeks that I was going to marry this man.  He was handsome, creative, funny, caring, and I just knew he would be a wonderful father one day.  As in most relationships, we would have discussions about what our future would look like, and of course that included kids.  How many would we have?  What would their names be?  What would they be into?  What type of parents would we be?  After we were married, we discussed when we wanted to start a family.  We were worried about starting too soon, so we waited for three years before trying to get pregnant.  I will never forget the excitement we felt and how real the feeling of having a family felt once we decided it was time.  It was no longer a “what if” but a when. 

My sister became pregnant very easily, and I was expecting the same fate.  Month after month we continued to see that single pink line and I found myself channeling my art degree.  Am I really only seeing one pink line or is my mind playing tricks on me and there really is two?  Is the perspective correct? Is the distance between the two lines just incredibly close together and it is really two lines?  Is the coloring right?  Maybe it is not the right pink hue, so that must make this test defective.  I can’t even begin to count the number of hours spent staring at a stupid plastic stick that held my hopes and dreams.  Month after month we continued to try and month after month we watched as people around us became pregnant and we still showed that single pink line.

We were trying our best to stay positive and keep busy so that we would not be consumed with getting pregnant and on Friday nights we loved to curl up and watch our favorite show, Modern Family.  It just gave us time to laugh and forget about everything else.  If you are familiar with the show, you know who Mitch and Cam are.  If not, let me fill you in with a very shortened version.  Mitch and Cam are an amazingly funny and loving gay couple who have adopted a daughter and are hoping/trying to adopt another child.  There was one night we were watching an episode where Mitch and Cam were wondering what their own biological child would look like.  Cam found a website where he could uploaded a photo of each of them and it would give them an image of what their child would look like.  I looked at Steve and said, “Ummm…hello, I’m totally trying this!”  I found a site and thought I would put it to the test to see if it was accurate.  My sister has two kids, so I used her and my bother-in-law as guinea pigs.  I uploaded their picture and was shocked at the outcome.  I thought Modern Family helped me to laugh, but this just trumped it ten-fold.  The first photo below is of my sister and brother-in-law and the second is of their “child”.  Take a look and let me know your thoughts…


I’m going to go out on a limb here and declare that I don’t think this looks like it could be there child.  Needless to say, we didn’t really put much stock in the reliability of the site, but man did it make us laugh hard.

Steve and I continued to try and prayed for those two pink lines, however after 14 months, we decided to go see my doctor for some advice.  She told us to try for another 8 months and to document EVERYTHING.   We were instructed to purchase an ovulating kit, an ovulation calendar, and to also take my temperature every morning, but above all, to just relax.  Riiiigghhhttt, relax.  After that long list?  Sure…relax…easy peasy…yeah right.  But, we wanted our family, so were all in.


2 thoughts on “And so the journey begins…

  1. I could title my blog “mykidshavehooves”
    When I was growing up I felt the same way, all of those same steps. Then I met a man who already had kids and having no further plans for any, got a vasectomy. No worries, those can be reversed…
    We scrimped and saved and had his vasectomy reversed (insurance only covers one way). Well no doubt I would get pregnant immediately and have the child I always dreamed of, a little girl whose name would be Kjersten. She would be blonde haired, blue eyed and freckles.
    Twice, I was sure I was pregnant and twice that stick told me “no”. I didn’t do the fertility/Dr. thing because by then I was fairly certain it was just that the reversal didn’t take. I was super involved with giving lessons and had started a 4H group and my Step-kids were in our lives more than ever. I was getting too old to have kids by then anyway.
    My marriage started to crumble and we got divorced. My ex told me a couple months later that he was going to be a father again. Anna has blue eyes, blonde hair and freckles.
    I guess the reversal took just fine!
    I have accepted and been even relieved that I never had any kids of my own. I never would have had time to speak into the lives of all the youngsters I was involved with. God has blessed me in so many ways, with so many kids, step-kids, step grandkids and a niece who I am so close to.
    My life is perfect the way it is!

    Liked by 1 person

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